Commissioner’s Corner

Korn on the Cobb came out swinging, dropping 137.7 to Brisket’s soggy 63.5. Nico Collins tried to carry Limp Brisket, but when your TE is your third-highest scorer, it’s a recipe for disaster. Korn stays unbeaten and made this one look like varsity vs JV.

No Effort finally lived up to their name. Despite big days from Achane and Barkley, it wasn’t enough to overcome Trevor Lawrence and the Teetz. This one was close until late, but Teetz pulled away and handed No Effort a second straight L.

Game of the week! Nabers, McCaffrey, and Adams all balled out for Pickleback, but OJ had the final laugh with Cook and Odunze putting the team on their back. OJ edged it 142.2–139.2 in a Sunday night thriller that’ll sting for a while.

X-Beach Girl brought the beach chairs but forgot the touchdowns. Chase and Higgins tried to keep it close, but Xenomorph’s combo of Gibbs and Walker tore through like acid blood. Xenomorph cruises to 123.9–100.4 and gets back to .500.

Team G looked like a machine, with Taylor and Mahomes clicking on all cylinders. Collusion had some sparks from Bijan and Hill, but they never cracked the code. In the end, it was G all the way, 140.9–101.9, and a statement 2–0 start.

OleGrayMen had flashes with Lamar and Waddle, but the rest of the roster looked like it belonged in the retirement home. Human, on the other hand, leaned on Puka and Kamara to put the game away early. It was never close — 128.6–88.5, and Not Bad stays perfect.